The Loves of Our Lives

Last night was a first. I was the warm up act for the Frank Marocco Accordion Event Friday evening festivities. The crowd was all of the accordion attendees for this workshop along with their spouses or significant others. Being one of the spouses, I wanted to address the rest of the dedicated troupers in the audience. Sitting around the dinner table with accordion players can get quite boring. They are totally involved with accordion lingo and name dropping of such that will never be an answer in any People magazine crossword. But I have devised a technique to help me get through the evening. When someone starts talking accordion; and of course what they are saying makes no sense to me, at the end of their sentence I just think in my head "if you know what I mean." It can be very entertaining and puts a slight grin on my face which makes me look like I am involved and enjoying the conversation. For instance the sentence "I told Elka that she has to fix a hole in my bellows"...if you know what I mean.

For my presentation for the wives I read from writings that I wrote earlier in the day.

The Loves of Our Lives

"I love the rainy nights, I love the rainy nights, I love the rainy nights"...Ok, Eddie we get it. That phrase seems to multiply as the song goes on. Maybe it's just the nature of the writer: Eddie Rabbit.
I grew up in Seattle and I must say that I DON'T like the rainy nights or the rainy day after day after day. I don't like walking in the rain or singing in the rain either. But for some reason I do like the sound of rain when it comes from my sleep sound machine. Go figure.

"I love _______" It's a phrase we hear all of the time; things like "I love the snow" or "I love the sun". People actually say of me "she loves dogs".  Let it be known that I also "love" chocolate, cheesecake, and a good cup of coffee. At least all of my vices are healthy. You see, chocolate and coffee are made from beans and beans are a legume. So really they are a protein and should be consumed every day. I think that goes for jelly beans too but I'm not sure. Cheese cake is made from cheese which is a dairy product; also a daily requirement. And if there is any kind of fruit on top I have fulfilled yet another food group for the day.

Perhaps the word "love" isn't quite right for such things. For instance, some people love the bagpipes, while others may say that they "love" the accordion. Often the term "love" is really a person's passion.
My husband loves me and has a passion for the accordion. So much so that on our twenty fifth wedding anniversary he was in the town of Kimberly BC for the annual accordion festival. Because I love him and I relish in the fun he has when he is playing the accordion. That's the difference between love and passion. Passion is a personal thing that you do for yourself. Love encompasses having a passion for someone else's joy.

Being married to an accordion player, writing comedy comes easy for me. Especially after I've had more than a few Gin and Diatonics. But seriously, accordion playing is both a skill and an art, and for some even a gift. After thirty three years of listening to all kinds of accordion music I have come to appreciate the happy music only an accordion can deliver. But what I appreciate more is when I see the therapeutic joy my husband experiences when playing the accordion or when he gets together with his fellow bellows brothers.
Yes, I have become an accordion widow. For my husband playing the accordion is his passion; I am the one he loves, and we intend to share our passions together for the rest of our lives.

Where everyone knows your name

I am terrible with remembering names. But I look at it this way...I work in the medical field where keeping confidentiality is of the utmost importance. So if I can't remember your name, don't be offended. Rather you should be grateful. Even under bright lights and torture I will never reveal your identity. Ok, it's basically because I can't remember your name. So just call me Dori.
But I think I get it from my mother. When we were kids she would at times call me by one of my sister's names, and occasionally even my brother's name. I have even seen my sister call her daughter my name. It is an inherent disorder that I have no control over. Sorry. If you really want to go where everyone knows your name, wear a name tag.
By the way, look up the lyrics to that theme song from Cheers...it's hilarious.

Curse HGTV

I have been guilty of watching a lot of those home make over type shows on HGTV.  Because we are planning on selling our house, I particularly take note of those aspects that we could incorporate in our own remodel. Well, after two years and thousands of dollars later, I have seen the light. That light is the blinding manipulative brainwashing of those shows that are sponsored by home hardware stores. Not only do they give the prospect of completing such transitions in two to seven days, they also have access to much more funds and skilled labor than we do. These shows repetitively give the impression that if your house does not have granite counter tops and stainless steel appliances it is a piece of junk. This granite counter top thing has all of the mass hysteria that the pet rock had in the seventies. It's a slab of rock that will cost you anywhere from six to ten thousand dollars for your kitchen counter. Personally, my kitchen is not that impressive in the first place. I think that it matters more what comes out of your kitchen that should make a good impression; not the work surface of your culinary creations.
I don't understand why kitchen faucets cost so much either when the technology itself has not really advanced beyond  ON  OFF  HOT  COLD. 

We have been going with the ever popular "neutral" theme to all of our colors and accessories in order to give that appropriate appeal to prospective buyers. Are we part of a dying breed that when looking for a house to buy project the potential and possibilities beyond what we see? Again, I blame those shows for creating the demand for "move in ready". 
Don't get me started with the power of the anal retentive home inspector. I think if they went into a spanking brand new building that had passed all of its inspections, they would still come up with a six page list of areas of questionable need for repair.

One thing I have learned though, I will never again own a home with walls that have rounded corners. They are very attractive until you decide to paint the adjoining room another color. Now imagine you have to create a straight line all down the bend in the doorway that leads to the next room. Then comes the hair pulling task of putting painters tape on that rounded edge from the top to bottom. Now paint the one room's color up to it. Pull the tape off so you can see that beautiful line you created. At this point you are feeling pretty pleased with yourself. So, you then repeat the taping and painting process and paint the other side with another color. Wait a good twenty four hours for it to dry because you don't want to pull the tape off too soon. The next day with full anticipation you pull the painter's tape off with visions of a perfectly straight line dividing the two rooms with complimentary colors. Even though you pull the tape ever so slowly and gentle; to your deflating feeling of accomplishment, the paint underneath pulls from the first wall that you painted. After you re-tape and patch paint those spots you pull the tape off only to realize that the tape has again pulled paint off the other side of the wall. I think you get the gist of my hell. My guess is that the Architect that designed rounded corners must be in the witness protection program somewhere because if I knew where he lived I'd kill him.
With all that we have done in preparation to make that winning impression to buyers, I can't help but think that twenty years from now, if this house should come up for sale again, there will be people coming through and either saying out loud or to themselves "this place is so 2010".
And so the insanity continues.