Monday, July 30, 2012

"P" is for Perfect

Don't ask me "why?" but for some reason I got to thinking about things in life that we are always in pursuit of for perfection. Here is a top ten list that came to my mind:


1) Pizza crust - I am always looking for the perfect pizza crust recipe

2) Profession - it always a good thing to find that perfect profession that you can shine in

3) Pillow - so far all of the pillows I have ever gotten from Costco just don't measure up

4) Phone - they make phones now that are much smarter than me

5) Pen - you know that if there is a choice of pens, either in a pen container on your desk or in the bottom of your purse, I will deliberately choose one over the others

6) Pourage - even the three bears were pursuing the perfect hot cereal

7) Purse - the perfect purse does not necessarily involve pursuit, but rather it finds you

8) Present - what do you get that person that has everything, or what do you get a teenager? Oh wait, there is a perfect present for that...cash.

9) Pill - whether it is for an aching joint or an aching head, one is always looking for that perfect pill to reliever what ales you.

10) Paint - You have decided on a color to paint a room in your house. You go down to the hardware store to get the paint. But now you are faced with a wall full of little cards that have slight varying shades of color to choose from. You narrow it down to the card color that just keeps jumping out at you. But then after painting that color on your wall; it really isn't the tone you were hoping for. So you either live with it, or you go down to the store again and select yet another paint color to paint over what you thought was the perfect color in the first place.

 But when it comes right down to it; the ultimate "P" in your pursuit for the perfect whatever, will have everything to do with Y.O.U and you will know it when you find it.  

Friday, July 20, 2012

Computer Games


Our computer is so slow.
How slow is it?
It is so slow, I do believe we have the Windows Jurassic Version.










Here are some fun computer games you can play while using your extremely slow computer:

1) Go make a cup of tea

2) Run a hot bath. Make sure that the water is hotter than desired so that by the time you have finished working on your computer it will be just the right temperature. I suggest that you also have a glass of wine while you are waiting. This is for if the bath water ends up cooling down too much; you will still feel relaxed and warm.

 3) Practice changing a tire

 4) Read the book War and Peace

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Bee Murder Cold Case Re-opened

While on my walk today I suddenly noticed that a bee was following, and at times even circling me. I wondered why I was the target of this deliberate behavior. Then it dawned on me that this could very well be a special agent from the Bee Police on a hot lead stemming from a bee murder cold case involving me back in 1963 when I was six years old.
 After being stung by a bee at that time, with Mason jar in hand,  I proceeded to go out to the garden with the sole purpose of incarcerating as many bees as I could and sealing them in the jar. My thoughts were that I would eliminate all future threat of being stung by a bee again, or at least minimize the chances.
But as it is 49 years later, I have had no further criminal intent on annihilating the bee population. In my life I have come to realize that bees have a very definite and honorable purpose. Besides, I have lived in Canada for over five years now. With that in mind I didn't understand that this bee could think that there was any possibility of extraditing me, or the fact that at the time of the incident I was a minor, let alone after all these years the statute of limitations must be far expired to indite me now. It wasn't long until that bee must have realized these same facts and gave up on the chase.  But if by chance there is ever a bee in the car with me while I'm driving, it's either him or me and I will not hesitate to kill again. 

Child Labor

I don't understand the deal with child labor. We have my husband's teenage niece and her friend staying with us this summer for two weeks. Not ever having any children, I thought the idea of child labor would be of great help for getting some stuff done around the house. I guess I'm not doing it right.
First of all, I have noticed that it is a lot more expensive to buy groceries for teenagers than it is buying food for my dogs. Mind you, the selection for my dogs is only that of one kind of food, and I only feed them twice a day. But by comparison to kids, at least the dogs only use one dish.  
I am not one of them, but there are a lot of people that have never had children that like to put clothes on their dogs. Even then, the  amount of clothing for a dog is limited to one; maybe two sweaters.  If the dog were to somehow get the sweater off, it is still only one piece of clothing laying around the house to pick up, and definitely never any shoes, socks, or other unmentionables.
True, I do have to pick up after my dogs every day, and in light of that, I don't see any difference between dogs and teenagers; with the exception that I can legally lock my dogs up in one room to limit the amount of damage they may do while I'm gone. And maybe also that my dogs are of no help when it comes to programing my cell phone or downloading a file.

You would think that teenage children would be far more advanced in understanding and responding to verbal commands than dogs. I think one of the key differences here is the term "command" verses "request".  Either way, for the most part when I ask my dogs to "come" or "wait", they know what that means and will do as they are told. A dog's whole focus in life is to please you, where as teenagers generally don't focus at all at what you say to them unless it has to do with something that will personally please them. This is where I must be doing something wrong with this notion of using child labor. As I recall growing up, when my mother asked us kids to clean the house we did it. Not only did we do it, we were under high expectations to do our task at hand in a reasonable amount of time and the end result was to be sufficient if not excellent. We did not get paid for these chores; in turn we were fed, clothed, housed, and were allowed to watch TV.
If only there were a game app to program into the phone of a teenager that made it so that their only means of advancement is if they were to actually complete a task in the real world. The "parental control" must give approval upon completion of the given chore in order for their phone to continue to function. This might make a good modern day study similar to that of the research involving Pavlov's dogs. You see, dogs and children are similar. Although the whole electrical shock thing would probably be frowned on.
I guess it's probably a good thing that I never had any children; but I make a good aunt.




Saturday, July 7, 2012

Late night dinner?

Last night I was out on the deck reading until I had to come in when the mosquitoes got too bad. This morning I woke up with bites on my leg. It all makes sense to me now. Just before I went inside I could have sworn I heard a small voice saying "Moe Skitto and family, table for three?"